I was hated since birth

May 2024 · 3 minute read

Self-pitying mass murderer Chris Harper-Mercer believed that he was “hated ever since” birth — and laughed it up after pumping a fatal bullet into his college teacher in Oregon.

The gunman, who killed nine people and then himself at Umpqua Community College last week, is believed to have left a manifesto on his computer that blamed everyone else for his problems.

“I was hated ever since I arrived in the world. I was always under attack,” the sick killer whined in the manifesto, sources told People magazine in a report published Monday.

“I’ve always been the most hated person in the world. Ever since I arrived in the world. Some will say I had so much to live for, but I don’t think so,” he allegedly said.

A source who has seen the gunman’s writing said Harper-Mercer also griped about everything he hadn’t attained.


“He goes through the list of what he doesn’t have,” the source said. “No job, no life, no success.”

Harper-Mercer wrote about admiring other mass killers and their beefs with society, too, the mag said.

“These people were denied everything they deserved and wanted,” he wrote, according to sources.

Harper-Mercer added that his carnage was inevitable.

“He says, `Many will ask how can they have prevented this? You can’t. You could never give me what I wanted. Nothing could have stopped it,’ ” the source said, parroting the killer’s words.

A witness to Harper-Mercer’s bloodshed said the madman was full of laughs as he shot up the classroom.

“He sounded really deranged because he said he’d been waiting to do that [kill people] for a really long time,” Anastasia Boylan, 18, told ABC’s “Good Morning America” in an interview aired Monday.

“And he laughed. He laughed after he shot the teacher.”

The madman ordered everyone to the floor, and Boylan said she was convinced the end was near.

“I could hear everyone breathing hard, freaking out and crying,” said Boylan, still in the hospital after being shot in the back. “And he asked everyone to move to the center of the classroom, so we all just kind of army-crawled to the center.”

“I didn’t think I was going to make it,” she said.

That’s when Harper-Mercer called on student Matthew Downing, 18, and called him the “lucky one,” sparing his life and handing him an envelope.

He said, “ ‘The kid in the glasses, get up. I need you to do me a favor. Today’s your lucky day,’ and hands him this like business envelope,” Boylan recounted. “He wasn’t going to be able to do that after he’s done killing the rest of us. He said he was going to kill himself.”

Then Harper-Mercer began killing students who had religious beliefs.

“He had us get up one by one and asked us what our religions were,” said Boylan, in a wheelchair and wearing a neck brace. “The shooter said that [one of the first victims] would only feel the pain for a couple of seconds and that he would be with God soon, and then he shot him.”

When Harper-Mercer got to Boylan and asked her to get up, the student said, she stayed on the ground and pretended to be dead.

“The last thing I remember praying was that my family and my loved ones … would somehow know we’re all OK,” she said.

“All of a sudden, I heard that one kid in my class say he was dead, ‘He’s dead. He’s shot in the head. Everything’s OK.’ ”

Boylan choked back tears and said she’ll cherish every moment of her life from now on.

“I will never, ever take for granted for a second, a minute, an hour or day ever again,” she said.

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